“I won’t let you burn out. I won’t let you lose your light.” Some of us are weak flames barely burning. God will not extinguish us. Even a whisper could turn us pitch black. We are not a shimmering coal to be blown upon, igniting a new fire; just a weak flame barely burning. And… Read More the gift of God’s silence (part 1)
Have you ever entered a cave and gone deep enough to lose all light to pitch black when you turn off the headlamp, where the air is utterly still, sound ceases, the only way forward is on hands and knees, the only guidance is by tentative touch? I have. It’s perhaps the closest one can… Read More further still
“I’ve come to think sometimes that maybe I’m running a race I wasn’t asked to run.” A friend of mine said this to me recently, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s a phrase that hits me right between the eyes. It hurts my heart to say it. When the words… Read More here not there
In a damp cathedral of towering firs in Oregon, I bend down, close my eyes, then raise them upward, my eyes and heart open. I pray. “You are my hunger and my food. My thirst and my water. My wound and my healing.” I was brought here for this holy moment in the light rain,… Read More in the wild (part 2)
I sat in my truck watching the furious surf, as if seeking revenge; the gray-white sea bled into the gray-white sky. I thought, “Sometimes you have to walk headlong into the wind and rain. Don’t run from it; run into it.” So I got out of my truck and walked down onto the beach, heading… Read More in the wild
The denial of contradictions (within our experience, the Bible, spiritual community, etc) can produce hesitant, fearful, uncertain, even spiritually neurotic Christians. We hear opposing stories of the same God and are expected to embrace them without doubt or trepidation. “Just believe” is the catch all phrase, the simple answer to complicated questions. The story of… Read More which God is it? (part 2)
I remember moments of ceaseless activity, at other times waning. Morning Bible reading and prayer, church services and Bible studies, leading and attending this and that group. Was the fire true? Now it seems like struck matches that never stayed alight; flint without enough energy for the weak kindling. My activities and readings and prayers… Read More which God is it? (part 1)
Ever since childhood, there’s often been a subtly pervasive voice in the background saying, “You’re not good enough, you’re not doing enough, you’re not enough as you are.” Have you heard it? This was not stated by anyone explicitly, but was sometimes implied within spiritual environments I participated in and observed. Guilt. As easy as… Read More guilt
As I have pulled back on my participation in familiar spiritual environments, as I have ceased the once familiar spirituality of my history and context, I find that I still encounter God in the midst of (re)movement. I do not speak, but stay silent; I do not move, but am still; I do not ask,… Read More (re)movement
Some of us may also be saying: “You know I’m not walking away from you. So what am I walking away from? Please, tell me.” He might respond in this way. “You are walking away from all the things that are associated with me, but are not me. The very things that may have once… Read More Week 33: the false/true worshiper (part 2)
a kingdom built of seeds 