grace (3)

One evening this winter I sat in the hot tub and watched the darkening evergreens and the winter evening’s cotton candy sky above the dimming landscape. I looked up at the clouds and picked out their morphing shapes. I kept watching that sky of subtle reds and pinks and purples, quiet oranges and yellows, above… Read More grace (3)

grace (2)

Grace was mentioned in my Christian upbringing. Mentioned as just one word among many. “We are saved by grace, through faith…” It was one theological term describing God’s action and attitude towards humankind. “Receiving more than we deserve.” Such an understated, simplistic explanation. Grace was simply a word without much meaning, even with knowledge of… Read More grace (2)

grace (1)

Grace. This word sometimes overused and often misused and cheapened and ill-defined. Not only that, but a word frightening for what it implies, uncomfortable in its extravagance, easier kept at arm’s length since it’s beyond our control. When something undeserved is given freely, unconditionally, without merit, we hesitate. What’s the catch? Nothing in life is… Read More grace (1)

silence (part 3)

We are not comfortable with silence. It’s the first thing to go when we have a to-do list, the easiest practice to neglect. There is the fear that if we don’t hear anything, it’s because we’re not listening. It’s our fault. How often have we heard it? “God’s always speaking; we’re the ones not listening.”… Read More silence (part 3)

further still

Have you ever entered a cave and gone deep enough to lose all light to pitch black when you turn off the headlamp, where the air is utterly still, sound ceases, the only way forward is on hands and knees, the only guidance is by tentative touch? I have. It’s perhaps the closest one can… Read More further still

guilt

Ever since childhood, there’s often been a subtly pervasive voice in the background saying, “You’re not good enough, you’re not doing enough, you’re not enough as you are.” Have you heard it? This was not stated by anyone explicitly, but was sometimes implied within spiritual environments I participated in and observed. Guilt. As easy as… Read More guilt

(re)movement

As I have pulled back on my participation in familiar spiritual environments, as I have ceased the once familiar spirituality of my history and context, I find that I still encounter God in the midst of (re)movement. I do not speak, but stay silent; I do not move, but am still; I do not ask,… Read More (re)movement

possibilities

I followed the snaking Gallatin River on 191, driving beside the water, on either side of me tree covered mountains and cliff faces, the sporadic homes and all the vehicles going somewhere. I played a song and prayed. It was a real prayer. Honest. Broken. Those kinds of prayers are rare, hard to come by… Read More possibilities