Jesus
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possibilities
I followed the snaking Gallatin River on 191, driving beside the water, on either side of me tree covered mountains and cliff faces, the sporadic homes and all the vehicles going somewhere. I played a song and prayed. It was a real prayer. Honest. Broken. Those kinds of prayers are rare, hard to come by Continue reading
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the blue chair
The last glow of the day above the pine trees across the quiet residential street. I sit on the driveway on this northerly side of the house facing the setting sun in my cheap blue camping chair lined with bright green. I’m catching the remaining light. If I lift my head I feel the last Continue reading
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choices
A year ago I made the difficult decision to change jobs. I had worked for my church for a year and a half as a next generation pastor—mostly with youth and young adults, among other things. I felt almost guilty for leaving. I had an enviable ministry job in a beautiful ski town. I left Continue reading
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belonging
“…The event contained in the affirmation of God is more important than the belief in God…Belonging first, followed by behavior, followed last and least, by belief.” – Peter Rollins We belong before we believe. The experience of belonging leads to behavior and belief if we’ve experienced the real thing. We may arrive at the right Continue reading
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room (2)
This is what we have with God—room and space rarely (if ever) experienced before. I understand how valuable this is, and how needed. Some of us were not given room to question or doubt or form our own opinions and beliefs and there was little or no place to disagree so we never knew how, Continue reading
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room
You invite me to your table but “I’m not hungry I’m not thirsty” I tell you. I have had everything here before. I am no longer hungry or thirsty for what I have long had my fill of. “But there is still room for you” I hear and I know it is true. But is Continue reading
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context
The indecision of childhood remembered. Do I create myself or am I created? Am I made in the image of what I desire or am I formed from the pieces of past and context and circumstance, family history religion. Environment. Culture. The myth of the self made wo/man for no one makes themselves only we Continue reading
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gods
gods— Flittering through memories, seen but unseen. Saving us. Or betraying us. Do they save us from or betray us to suffering? We are all damaged. All of us. Even by those closest to perfection, or at least goodness. Our worlds built by those who could not fail but did. And do. And always will. Continue reading
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image
Trying to find pieces of what I am in the dark, lonely, quiet, snowy nights of a silent season. Learning to be alone and to love it. Reaching for words in the disquiet of quiet. In search of myself while lost in myself. Like standing as the single being on a world my own. None Continue reading
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Week 52: a new year
Give yourself room this year. To grow, risk, learn, doubt, question. To try something new. To put yourself out there. Move on from anything that’s draining life and health. More than making resolutions, just be brave enough to do what’s best for you (not someone else), and to be who you are without having to Continue reading
a kingdom built of seeds 