seeking
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prayer
Heads bowed. Eyes closed. Hands folded. Who taught us to pray this way? Would God have us pray in a spirit of formality. Or would he rather we lift our heads, open our eyes, and stretch out our hands to the mystery that reaches us. I think of the Michelangelo painting on the ceiling of Continue reading
asking, authenticity, change, Christianity, church, compassion, deconstruction, empathy, evangelicalism, experience, Faith, God, Grace, growth, honesty, hope, Jesus, knowledge, learning, listening, love, openness, personal, prayer, reflections, religion, Searching, seeking, spirit, spirituality, story, Trust, truth, understanding -
my (short) story
Now, a little about me. I think back. What led me here? There’s childhood. A well behaved pastor’s kid though my father wasn’t a pastor but something more—a praying carpenter, a spiritual giant, a minister in his own unique way. I was like him, until l wasn’t. I wanted to be like him, until I Continue reading
asking, authenticity, change, Christianity, church, compassion, empathy, evangelicalism, experience, Faith, God, Grace, growth, honesty, hope, Jesus, knowledge, learning, listening, love, openness, personal, reflections, religion, Searching, seeking, spirit, spirituality, story, Trust, truth, understanding -
leaving (part 3)
Enough about me. I won’t speak for God. But maybe he’s waiting for you to let go, give up, surrender. To own up to your true self and season. Honesty and openness (with a large dose of humility) is something he can work with. Performance and striving (especially without humility), less so. This doesn’t mean Continue reading
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leaving (part 2)
I have stopped trying to be good and right, to fall in line and follow the rules. I have thrown away my former identities and associations in search of myself, my path, and God. Yes, from the outside it might look like leaving. Period. (To some, perhaps without redemption.) But so far in my experience, Continue reading
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leaving (part 1)
I’ve been asking the question: “Who am I when I leave?” Who are we when we leave? Who are you when you leave? — Who we once were has bearing on who we are now. We cannot entirely disentangle from our past; it is intrinsically linked to our present. Who we are now is continually Continue reading
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movement
I sometimes feel a sense of guilt at re/moving myself from familiar spirituality, from my roots, from certain religious practices, from pieces of my history and context, from unquestioning Christianity. I “should” on myself—I should be involved, I should serve, I should attend, I should do this and that spiritual discipline whether I feel like Continue reading
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nomadism
Nothing is concrete. I’m not one to build a home on a fundamentalist, literalist, or “rock solid” foundation; I am nomadic in what and where I plant myself. Not the “sinking sand” the Bible speaks of, just finding a place in the dirt to set up a tent, then moving on to the next location Continue reading
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Week 23: the Great Nothing
God creates a wound only he can heal. It’s as if something (or someone) is attempting to disrupt the routine of my spirituality. To finally cast away all the words, thoughts, clichés, theology, knowledge, religion, Christianity–even “God”–in order to bring me to the Great Nothing (where God finds me). I have taken everything for granted. Continue reading
a kingdom built of seeds 