church
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survival and sustenance
There’s this ethereal place I’ve always wanted to reach but never can. Never will. A place I want to reach but cannot find. Where everything and everyone will be okay. Whole. All things and persons as they should be. All things and persons made new. For as long as I can remember I’ve longed for Continue reading
brokenness, Christianity, church, Death, deconstruction, desire, Faith, God, hope, Jesus, lack, Life, longing, love, prayer, reflections, spirituality, survival, Trust, waiting -
indoor/outdoor faith
For the last two years I’ve taken a month-long road trip in the autumn, living out of my truck, sleeping in the bed on a wood platform under a topper, changing in parking lots, setting up and tearing down, cooking outdoors (weather permitting), staying the night in gorgeous isolated forests or in not so beautiful Continue reading
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other voices
Why are we so often afraid of other voices? Do they shake our own fallible security in certain beliefs? Do they threaten an errant assurance of our own subjective truth and relative experience? Why are we so afraid of different views and opinions and interpretations? Why do we feel the need to fight tooth and Continue reading
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person over power
I see the Ravi Zachariases and Mark Driscolls and John MacArthurs of the world and know if these men were the summation of what I believed about the church, Christians, God, I would run as far as I can and never look back, except to glare. But then I avert my gaze and there’s another Continue reading
Christianity, church, compassion, Faith, freedom, God, hope, humility, injustice, Jesus, justice, leadership, love, oppression, power, reflections, religion, spirituality -
grace (3)
One evening this winter I sat in the hot tub and watched the darkening evergreens and the winter evening’s cotton candy sky above the dimming landscape. I looked up at the clouds and picked out their morphing shapes. I kept watching that sky of subtle reds and pinks and purples, quiet oranges and yellows, above Continue reading
bible, Christianity, church, Faith, God, Grace, Holy Spirit, hope, Jesus, love, mercy, prayer, reflections, religion, spirituality, Trust, worship -
grace (2)
Grace was mentioned in my Christian upbringing. Mentioned as just one word among many. “We are saved by grace, through faith…” It was one theological term describing God’s action and attitude towards humankind. “Receiving more than we deserve.” Such an understated, simplistic explanation. Grace was simply a word without much meaning, even with knowledge of Continue reading
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grace (1)
Grace. This word sometimes overused and often misused and cheapened and ill-defined. Not only that, but a word frightening for what it implies, uncomfortable in its extravagance, easier kept at arm’s length since it’s beyond our control. When something undeserved is given freely, unconditionally, without merit, we hesitate. What’s the catch? Nothing in life is Continue reading
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deconstruction
Listen to your brothers and sisters in deconstruction. Some have had a friend or family member struggling with faith tell them, “I don’t know if I can call myself a Christian anymore.” They don’t need us to evangelize, answer, or save them. They need empathy and compassion, not judgment and rebuke. They need ears, not Continue reading
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leaving (part 3)
Enough about me. I won’t speak for God. But maybe he’s waiting for you to let go, give up, surrender. To own up to your true self and season. Honesty and openness (with a large dose of humility) is something he can work with. Performance and striving (especially without humility), less so. This doesn’t mean Continue reading
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leaving (part 2)
I have stopped trying to be good and right, to fall in line and follow the rules. I have thrown away my former identities and associations in search of myself, my path, and God. Yes, from the outside it might look like leaving. Period. (To some, perhaps without redemption.) But so far in my experience, Continue reading
a kingdom built of seeds 