a kingdom built of seeds

“God doesn’t give a gift without giving an obligation to use it.” – Christian Wiman

We sometimes assume that to do what we do not desire is to be right, to be the martyr. But to be what we were made to be, this is to be the true martyr, because the greatest battles of fear and self-doubt are waged over this. To attempt what we love and fail is far better than succeeding at what we do not.

Don’t become someone else just because it makes more sense, just because it’s more practical.

“Don’t you trust me to make something of what you love and desire?”

While what we want isn’t always right, do not assume that what you want always isn’t right.

What gifts remain unopened when we make ourselves the martyr, always denying ourselves the desires of our heart. What treasures remain unfound when we resist the quiet beckoning towards the hidden loves that we leave waiting in darkness, where silence is their death. “Let me speak, let me be seen.”

You are a light waiting to be given, to be seen. A voice waiting to be heard. A name waiting to be known. You are a light. Don’t darken yourself.

If you see nothing come of doing what you love, the value is itself in the act of doing what you love, not in what comes of it. If no one sees you, recognizes you, praises you, encourages you, endorses you, or slaps you on the back, it’s really no matter. For you will never be left wondering what was left undone, unsaid, unacted, unobeyed. Whether you ever realize it or not, your light will be seen somewhere, somehow, by someone who needed it. And even if not, the One by whom your light was given, will see it and say, “Look, look how beautiful the light of the one I love. Look, look how courageous the act of revealing it.”

God sees the light you hold (even if others don’t), and he says, “It is very good. It is beautiful.”

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