I have stopped trying to be good and right, to fall in line and follow the rules. I have thrown away my former identities and associations in search of myself, my path, and God. Yes, from the outside it might look like leaving. Period. (To some, perhaps without redemption.) But so far in my experience,… Read More leaving (part 2)
I’ve been asking the question: “Who am I when I leave?” Who are we when we leave? Who are you when you leave? — Who we once were has bearing on who we are now. We cannot entirely disentangle from our past; it is intrinsically linked to our present. Who we are now is continually… Read More leaving (part 1)
We are not comfortable with silence. It’s the first thing to go when we have a to-do list, the easiest practice to neglect. There is the fear that if we don’t hear anything, it’s because we’re not listening. It’s our fault. How often have we heard it? “God’s always speaking; we’re the ones not listening.”… Read More silence (part 3)
We are weak flames barely burning. Our voices can say no more. Our ears can hear no more. With God, there’s no need. He lets us walk ahead, fall behind. He does not lead with pressure. He does not wait with impatience. He is not fickle or demanding. He does not hold our weaknesses, failures,… Read More the gift of silence (part 2)
“I won’t let you burn out. I won’t let you lose your light.” Some of us are weak flames barely burning. God will not extinguish us. Even a whisper could turn us pitch black. We are not a shimmering coal to be blown upon, igniting a new fire; just a weak flame barely burning. And… Read More the gift of God’s silence (part 1)
Have you ever entered a cave and gone deep enough to lose all light to pitch black when you turn off the headlamp, where the air is utterly still, sound ceases, the only way forward is on hands and knees, the only guidance is by tentative touch? I have. It’s perhaps the closest one can… Read More further still
“I’ve come to think sometimes that maybe I’m running a race I wasn’t asked to run.” A friend of mine said this to me recently, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. It’s a phrase that hits me right between the eyes. It hurts my heart to say it. When the words… Read More here not there
In a damp cathedral of towering firs in Oregon, I bend down, close my eyes, then raise them upward, my eyes and heart open. I pray. “You are my hunger and my food. My thirst and my water. My wound and my healing.” I was brought here for this holy moment in the light rain,… Read More in the wild (part 2)
I sat in my truck watching the furious surf, as if seeking revenge; the gray-white sea bled into the gray-white sky. I thought, “Sometimes you have to walk headlong into the wind and rain. Don’t run from it; run into it.” So I got out of my truck and walked down onto the beach, heading… Read More in the wild
The denial of contradictions (within our experience, the Bible, spiritual community, etc) can produce hesitant, fearful, uncertain, even spiritually neurotic Christians. We hear opposing stories of the same God and are expected to embrace them without doubt or trepidation. “Just believe” is the catch all phrase, the simple answer to complicated questions. The story of… Read More which God is it? (part 2)
a kingdom built of seeds 