weekly reflections
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Week 30: alone(ness)
Why do certain days seem to haunt some deep part of us? A sense of loss pervades. Or of losing something not yet received. The belief that what we desire will never come to pass. How does one cease to feed this beast? Everyone is alone in the world. We are only to have pieces Continue reading
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Week 29: what kind of follower
The story of Zacchaeus in Luke 19:1-10 is one of my favorite stories in the Bible; it’s beautiful. This was a man no one liked. He was despised by everyone. Like all tax collectors, he was a traitor to his own people (the Jews), collecting taxes for the occupiers (the Romans), skimming off the top Continue reading
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Week 27 / 28: courage
(Yes, I missed a week.) I couldn’t fall asleep. So I picked up a book that I’m working on–The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand–which I like very much. The protagonist is Howard Roark, a fearless architect, and the archetype of a man who is courageous in his art, without concern for the opinion of others or Continue reading
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Week 25: thirst (part 2)
Not long ago, I read a short biography of Mother Teresa in 7 Men and 7 Women (by Eric Metaxas). There’s a part that resonated with me. By 1950 [Mother Teresa] had devised a constitution for the Missionaries of Charity–the name God had given her when she first heard her “call within a call.” In Continue reading
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Week 24: thirst
Jesus said, “I thirst.” I love the way the trees sway in worship. The slight breeze setting their thin trunks in motion, branches joining the chorus. If i wasn’t sitting out here on the deck tonight, I wouldn’t notice. I wouldn’t see it. I have to pay attention. What is existence without seeing? Why are Continue reading
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Week 23: the Great Nothing
God creates a wound only he can heal. It’s as if something (or someone) is attempting to disrupt the routine of my spirituality. To finally cast away all the words, thoughts, clichés, theology, knowledge, religion, Christianity–even “God”–in order to bring me to the Great Nothing (where God finds me). I have taken everything for granted. Continue reading
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Week 20: “now and not yet”
I have always been aware of the “now and not yet” of following Jesus. I am reminded that it’s okay to still feel unsettled, somewhat incomplete, and a little discontent; because things are not (yet) as they should be. Everyone knows this. Some recognize it more than others. It is something of a prophetic understanding—those Continue reading
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Week 19: when “behind” is “ahead”
I grew up hearing some of the following phrases: make sure you don’t “backslide”; don’t be “deceived”; make sure not to “fall away”; be careful not to “lose your faith.” Do I believe these can actually happen to someone? In a sense, I actually do. Do I think they’re helpful or should be a focal Continue reading
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Week 18: life, death, and legacy (in “The Death of Ivan Ilyich”)
Someone recently asked me: “What do you want your legacy to be? How do you want to leave your mark upon the world?” I was a little caught off guard. I’d never really been asked that question, and I’ve honestly never pondered it very extensively. I just read (or rather, listened to) “The Death of Continue reading
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Week 15: seen
Imagine a female slave in the 20th century B.C. who, at the command of her mistress, marries and sleeps with her mistress’s husband. Who, upon consequently conceiving his child, is then constantly oppressed by her mistress, though the slave is herself not entirely innocent in her pride. When the father of her child remains unconcerned Continue reading
a kingdom built of seeds 