a kingdom built of seeds

Seven years ago I packed my silver two door Honda Civic to the brim and moved to Big Sky. I had been living back home in PA for a year after spending a long year abroad, teaching English in Thailand and roaming around parts of central and southeast Asia.

Not once have I regretted the move. I’ve found a home, a lifestyle, that fits; a place I don’t find the need to leave or get away from in my love for it. Location can’t fix us, but it sure can help. I never knew what it was like, before, to have a home that saves, in a way.

Not long ago, one of my best friends told me over the phone, “You had to leave to save yourself.” I thought about that. He’s right. Not that I wouldn’t be okay had I stayed (after all, my beloved family and dearest friends are there). But I never would have discovered this sense of being so at home in a pocket of the world, like growing roots in rich soil, as if I were made for it, and it for me.

It’s worth taking a gamble on an inkling. Yes, it’s often difficult in the midst of it, self-doubt blaring in the background. I’m still learning, and always will be, to listen to and follow through with what my insides are telling me.

I’m sure glad I did those seven years ago.