Week 30: alone(ness)

Why do certain days seem to haunt some deep part of us? A sense of loss pervades. Or of losing something not yet received. The belief that what we desire will never come to pass.

How does one cease to feed this beast?

Everyone is alone in the world. We are only to have pieces of one another. And never enough to satiate the longing for complete intimacy and wholeness. The other is not wholeness for incompleteness or a remedy for loneliness. They can only share life’s inherent loneliness with you. They may lighten the load of need, but will not carry it entirely.

We will all be failed by those we love the most. Some of us abandoned. Others, destroyed. We will be disappointed as soon as the other becomes our everything. When we seek to make them everything they will become less, possibly nothing. Can you be alone in your aloneness? Only when you are may someone enter, and you carry it together. Two in loneliness is better than one. But first it must be faced by the individual. No one can carry it for you–only with. 

It’s a given that life is surely loss, loneliness, and suffering. But a life with hope sees the black star-speckled sky and does not focus on the darkness, but rather appreciates it as the backdrop to light. 

Hope in our aloneness is accompanied with action. Otherwise it is only wishful thinking and empty faith. One must start doing what one believes. To live as if it is real though not yet a reality.

In the words of one hopefully alone: “I believe; help my unbelief…”

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